Finally a cake

I'm amused by the number of food bloggers, ever more by the variety of dishes on their blog.
Every time I came across recipe for cakes, I told myself I'm going to try it one day when I buy a microwave. The microwave did arrive, yet it took me more than a month to bake my first cake. I had so many condition while finding the recipe of the cake - it should be eggless, easy to prepare, no fancy ingredients... and so on. I first tried the eggless chocolate cake, recipe was given in the complimentary cookbook I got with the MW. It was utter flop. Taste was fine but the cake wasn't.
Then my cousin suggested Dates Cake as the easiest cake to prepare. I tried this as well but in vain. The cake tasted well but it was sticky! I decided cake was not my cup of tea. I'm not going to bake again. Well, I baked pizzas but cake... NO.
On the new year's eve, I was at my mother's place. In someway I wanted a celebration. Ordering a cake at the nth min was out of question. The only option left was to bake one. So, I did bake... the dates cake... again. The taste was fine as ever and it did not even turn out soggy this time. But, this time it was HARD.
I thought - what is this... some great art? Why am I not able bake a cake right? Now, it was more of a challenge to bake a perfect cake. I browsed and browsed endless for a cake that I could bake. Finally I bumped into the Honey Cake Recipe on Nandita's blog - Saffron Trail. So, I went ahead with my adventure all over again. And this time, finally, I baked it RIGHT! My hubby who generally does not eat ANYTHING sweet liked it. So did my 1+ yr old daughter! Finally even I baked a cake! Thanks to Nandita for that recipe :)

The impossible dream

As a result of my Spanish classes, I'm beginning to watch English movies based on Spain/ LA. Last week I saw 'The Man of La mancha' based on the novel 'El ingenioso hidalgo don Quijote de la Mancha' by Cervantes. Very inspiring lyrics, from the movie -

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

Fighting my toughest enemy

My worst and the toughest enemy to fight so far has been - my anger. I'm in a war with it from the time I can remember. Of all the battles fought, most of it is won by anger to my greatest regret. I have of course won a few battles, but it is nothing compared to numbers anger has won against me. Now, I'm determined to win the WAR. I'm noting a few things that could help me, as a self reminder in this war....

1. Every time anger is about to attack, breath deeply.

2. Chant a mantra. Till control is mine.

3. Laugh. Instead of getting anger, laugh - "oh my God! Life can be like this also!!"

These are ones that will help. I hope to add to the list as and when I learn of a new technique. This is it for now.

3 years completed

Today we are celebrating our 3 years of togetherness... its our wedding anniversary!
I can't believe it is 3 years. We are still learning things about each other... I guess the process never ends. Intial months of adjustment is tough but the fruit of it is really sweet.
I feel so special when he remembers something I like that I would have just mentioned carelessly. With a little sour, salty, sweet experiences.... life is beautiful after marriage!

My Dad dearest!

When someone asks me a question like - Where is your Dad? What does he do? Or Is Mr. Baba there? I always get a lump in my throat and words fail to come out. Barely audible will be my reply... whatever reply it is. Which is almost all the time encountered with "aahh??". Making me repeat myself.
I can't some how bring myself to say he has expired, even after 6+ years. I still feel him around me. I never ever want to say he has left us. He is there with me in my actions, in my success, in my life. He is there for me always, so what if he is not in flesh and blood.
I keeping thinking of the funny stuff he use to say, the way he use to laugh and make me laugh, the way he use to dance to make me smile when I was angry, the way he use to correct me when I was wrong, the way he use to bare with my innumerable pranks I played, the way I use to mess his hair when he was getting dressed for office, the way we fought over the right usage of English, the way we discussed things, the way we lived..... Now when I think of them tears fill my eyes.
In dreams, I usually see my Dad, the jolly fellow he was. Most of the times, the dreams seem so real that I feel this reality is the dream and my dream as reality.
I have still not been able to overcome that tragedy of my life. I still cannot believe what happened 6 years back. I still want to believe that he will come back one day and say "Nithyu" and all these years that I lived so far will be a bad dream and I will wake up to see my papa's loving face. I wish!
I miss you sometimes but I love you always, papa.